Finding the Peace

Comparing Ourselves to Others

It is sadly true that as human beings we gravitate to comparing ourselves to others. We do this knowing, on some level, that this act of comparing will ultimately make us feel bad about ourselves. Whenever we start to compare ourselves to someone else, we will lose because we are not like anyone else.

We are our own authentic self with specific personality traits, physical looks, talents, and strengths. Yes, we do have our weaknesses and our human flaws. In comparing ourselves to others we will automatically start to run a deficit list in our head of all we are not – as we will not have the same body, the same style, the same presence as another person. And being different from others is part of the greater plan. Our task as humans is to really begin to identify those traits, that style and those gifts that we carry and bring them out – share ourselves with the world.

When you get into the comparing mode, note it, and then step out of it. Step into your authentic self. Step into saying something you like about yourself. Step into reassuring yourself that you are already enough, for just being who you are. Step into embracing what you have to offer the world. If that is too much, then take baby steps. Note when you are doing the comparing and say something that you are in gratitude about for yourself. Perhaps make the statement, “I am awesome.” Or just focus on your strong body, your green eyes, or your great smile. And then step into the feeling that comes when you say it.

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  • Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
    Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner

  • Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.


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