Finding the Peace

Letting Go of What We Have No Control Over

Yesterday someone said to me, “What good would it do to get upset? It is like getting mad at a computer. It will not change anything.” She had a good point. There are certain things that happen in our day that we really can’t control. Being upset about what happened isn’t going to change it. And it isn’t going to help us maintain the peace. Realizing when there is nothing we can do to change a situation is healthy thinking. That thinking will help us respond in a way that will be helpful within ourselves. It will help us maintain the calm in the midst of the storm.

We can’t control what others think, say and do. We can’t control certain life happenings. However, we can control how we think and what we say and do. We can control how we choose to handle a situation. But the first step is to catch that initial response, that initial thought. Is there really anything that can be changed in the situation right now? If there clearly is nothing that we can do about it, it is a mute point. If we need some time to be angry, upset, and mull it over, then give the situation an allotted time to express your feelings. But realize that how we approach a situation, how we think about it is going to affect how we feel. And how we feel is going to make a difference in what kind of day we “choose” to have. This we have control over. For today, make a decision to assess your situations. Do you have any control over what is happening? If not, move on, let it go. Keep your peace.

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  • Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
    Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner

  • Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.


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