For many years now I have practiced learning to “be” more and “do” less. I have known for some time that when I incorporate more moments of “being”, I am in better balance with my tendencies towards overdoing the “doing”. This state of learning to “be” is easier now for me than it was back in 1987 when I first started meditating and sitting with myself. Back then, slowing down and stopping the “doing” was a difficult feat because I didn’t want to sit with myself. I didn’t appreciate myself and seemed to be in a constant state of “doing”, almost as if to avoid being with myself. Although at the time, this was far from obvious. I had “good reasons” to be busy. It never dawned on me that I was responsible for the choices that led me to be so busy. I preferred to think that it was just the way things had to be. But of course, we are all responsible for our choices. Being busy is a choice. Being busy and avoiding time with myself is a choice. This choice often leads to a “disconnect” of self and is certainly not comfortable either.
The more I have learned to sit still, be, capture the moment and enjoy it, the more I have been able to accept myself and to like myself. The two, learning to be and loving myself, were definitely intertwined. As I learned to love myself, I could also sit more with myself and be present. I didn’t need to escape in a TV show, a good book, or a task that needed to be done. I could just sit and not have noise and activity to distract me from myself. I could let my thoughts bubble up and be okay with the reflection of myself. I could enjoy me.
I believe that the effort of sitting with ourselves and being with ourselves, is the ultimate act of self-love. And learning to love ourselves and be with ourselves is the secret to happiness. It is through learning to love ourselves that we actually can heal ourselves and through the healing of ourselves we impact the world in with we live. It is when we can love ourselves that we can love others. And the act of loving ourselves goes out into the world like the pebble that ripples the water – one small ripple creates larger ripples that gently spread out to cover the surface. If we each do our part, we can impact the world. So start today, if you aren’t already doing so — sit with yourself, listen to yourself and love yourself –appreciating what you bring to the world in your uniqueness of who you are. Throw your pebble out today.Tags: being with ourselves, do less and "be" more, sitting with ourselves
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner
- Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.
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