Finding the Peace


Put Yourself in Wholesome Environments with Wholesome People

When we have an encounter with someone it is important to pay attention to how that encounter felt.  Did spending time in conversation with that person make us feel better about ourselves, give us more energy and leave us feeling hopeful about ourselves and our lives? Or did the encounter leave us depleted of energy, depressed or anxious, uncomfortable or unhappy? This is the difference between a healthy interaction and a toxic interaction. We need to be aware so we can make the choice to put boundaries on the time we spend with toxic people. Just as toxic foods and substances take a toll on our physical health, toxic people can impact us both emotionally and physically.

Toxic people are the people who just don’t seem to be in a good place emotionally. You know, the people who complain frequently, never seem happy about anything, feel victimized by the world, and generally do nothing to take responsibility for their own life. They are the people who like to make fun of others, gossip, and are critical of you and/or others around you. They are the people who often lose their tempers making you tense without even realizing why, but internally you respond because you don’t want to be the recipient of another one of their meltdowns. They are the people who know how to “take” in the relationship but never give back. They are the people who suck the energy out of you leaving you to have to recover from the time spent together.  They may have all these characteristics, or part of them. But one or more of these behaviors or characteristics affects the interactions we have with that person.

Because toxic people impact us both physically and emotionally, it is imperative that we take responsibility for our choice and assess if we really want to have these people in our life. Check in with yourself after spending time with this person (s).  When you are with this person do you feel happy that you allowed some of your valuable time to be in the company of this person? Did you leave the encounter feeling better about yourself and the world you live in? If not, perhaps it is time to assess how to put some boundaries on spending time with this person. Take charge of your life.  Choose not to spend time with people that steer you down a path you do not want to be on. Rather choose to be with people that will be loving and caring and embrace you for who you are. Choose to have relationships that are in balance and supportive in your process to becoming all you can be. You will find life is easier. You deserve it. So start today to clean up your environment and the relationships you encounter.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  • Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
    Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner

  • Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.

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