Finding the Peace

The Pain of Change

Change in life is inevitable, yet we often push against change. We don’t necessarily like change; it can make us uncomfortable. And even more than that, it can be extremely painful to go through transformation moments which require significant change. But we do have a choice. We can look within ourselves and find the strength and the truth of what we need to do to address our part in our situations, or we can choose to look outside ourselves for answers. And our answers are not found outside ourselves.

Life is not static. It is fluid, and in living our life, we have to learn to be fluid to what life brings to us on a daily basis. Rigidity will not stop life from happening. Rigidity may even cause us more pain. Being fluid gives us the flexibility to navigate life’s circumstances. If we can see life’s moments as opportunities to grow, we can set ourselves up to be fluid. And then we can focus on what this moment, this situation, is bringing for us to learn and grow. It doesn’t mean we have to be thrilled that change came knocking at our door. We just have to know how to navigate in a way that allows us to grow through the situation.

One way to do this is to see these moments that call for change, these crises, these shattering experiences, or even very dark nights of the soul as spiritual opportunities. They are opportunities for us to dive deep – deep into our soul and look at our human self through our spiritual self. That good news is that as deep as we go in our pain is as high as we go in our joy. Marianne Williamson says it best when she says, “The only way we’ll have whole lives is if we dwell within the wholeness of ourselves. And the wholeness of ourselves is found when we are whole with our spiritual Self.” (Williamson, 2004)

Williamson, M (2004). The Gift of Change: Spiritual Guidance for a Radically New Life. New York: Harper Collins.

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  • Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
    Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner

  • Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.


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