Wholeness Healing Today

Complaining and Fighting Against

Eckhart Tolle suggests that the ego’s sense of self needs to complain and fight against in order to create the illusion that I am “right” and you are “wrong”. This creates a sense of separateness which the ego needs to survive. And, ultimately, this need takes away our ability to be in peace and joy as our ego is addicted to its need for separateness. (Tolle, 2003)

In his book, Stillness Speaks, Tolle states the following:

Complaining and reactivity are favorite mind patterns through which the ego strengthens itself.  For many people, a large part of their mental-emotional activity consists of complaining and reacting against this or that.  By doing this, you make others or a situation “wrong” and yourself “right.”  Through being “right,” you strengthen your sense of self.  In reality, of course, you are only strengthening the illusion of ego.

Can you observe those patterns within yourself and recognize the complaining voice in your head for what it is?


Tolle, E. (2003). Stillness Speaks. Novato : New World Library.

Ekhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks, Patterns of complaining and resisting, illusion of ego

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  • Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
    Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner

  • Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.


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