Diffuse the Fireworks in Your Life
We all have times when life feels overwhelming and a bit out of control. During these times it may be that there is chaos in the moment resulting from random happenings in the world. However, if chaos is a constant in your life, showing up in multiple areas of your life, in multiple relationships, or you struggle with internal chaos, then it is worth the time to look at the patterns and consider how to take responsibility for improving life. Looking at the patterns that create the chaos in your life would be the first step in taking responsibility and being accountable for your life.
What this really means is that you have the power to bring peace into your life even if chaos seems to follow you wherever you go, especially if chaos seems to follow you wherever you go. You can make changes to lessen the chaos and bring peace to the forefront of your life. Looking at the patterns of external or internal chaos, what the patterns mean, and their place in your life guides you to self-discovery, personal healing and growth, catapulting you to become the “best you” that you can be.
If you do an assessment of your life and your patterns and find that you do have repeated patterns of chaos, then consider making changes to find the peace in your life. Look at the chaos and if and how you create some of that chaos. Ask yourself some hard questions, such as, “What do you get from the pattern? What is your payoff?” Perhaps you live for the excitement that plays out. Maybe you grew up in a chaotic environment and you are hard-wired with being comfortable in these patterns of chaos. Maybe you find yourself involved with people who feel toxic or leave you feeling stressed and unhappy more often than not. Perhaps you are not setting boundaries to take care of yourself. Define what chaos looks like to you and how it impacts your life.
Then look at peace and how it looks. Define what your peace looks like and how you can connect with your peace on a daily basis. The goal here is to develop new hard-wiring that embraces a peaceful life in your environment, relationships, patterns, and most importantly, within yourself. Is peace something that you can live with, or does your pattern bring in disruption just when peace starts to appear? Begin the process of learning to be comfortable with peace. Make a list of the things you can do to connect with your peace. Journal, take a walk, listen to music, meditate, breath, set boundaries, etc. This is a list of self-soothing acts that will calm the internal chaos and allow you to sit in your peace. In those moments, anchor the feeling of peace, sink into it, putting it on like a gentle Sauvé.
Make the resolve to change how you live in your life. Set the goal to walk through chaotic moments without much disruption to your peace. Realize that when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by a situation, that it is merely a moment, and that this will pass. Take action steps to control what you can control, access your peace, take care of your own needs, and focus on your breath to get through those moments. The real message in this is that we ultimately have control over how we live our life and when we start to look at patterns and realize that we may be part of the creation of those patterns, we can also be part of bringing peace and joy into our lives. The peace and joy can become our predominate experience, if we choose that to be our pattern. So leave the fireworks for our once a year Fourth of July time and move into consciously living a peace-filled life.Tags: chaos, look at your patterns
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner
- Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.
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