Notes of Growth
I remember the day I sat in my chair in my therapist’s questioning how I even got to this place in my life. Life was happening to me and the noise in my head was loud and uncomfortable. I was a combination of my thoughts, other peoples’ opinions and expectations, and my own expectations of who I should be or at least who I thought I was. As our session began, I was asked to notice the things around the room – what I was seeing, hearing, smelling etc. I thought to myself who has time for this.? “Yes, your office is beautiful and smells delightful, but I really need you to help me figure out why I am feeling so lousy inside and if we could make it snappy I have a million things to do.”
Little did I know how life changing that little exercise would become. It opened a door to a world that I didn’t know existed, but yet it had been inside of me all this time. I was reintroduced to a person that I had not paid much attention to for quite a while, “me”. I met the real me not the me that was running the show, the loud voice that reacted to anything and everything and was trying to win everyone’s approval. I met the me that had been hidden away and silenced by this know it all. Although it didn’t happen overnight, day by day, layer by layer, through the practice of mindfulness and meditation, I was able to clear the clutter in my mind and separate my true self from this noise. I finally found “me” in that quiet inner stillness I had heard about but had no idea what it was. The place where all I have to do is “be”, not worrying, struggling, striving or fixing anything.
This journey has taught me to just be present within myself, just noticing and learning who I really am – moment by moment, breath by breath, just appreciating every gift that comes albeit big or small. I have learned that happiness is a choice that lies within myself not outside. Once I found the stillness inside, it seemed like the happiness had been there all this time. It was now free to flow and was no longer being suppressed by the noise.Tags: Notes of Growth
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner
- Janie Pfeifer Watson, LICSW, is the founder and director of Wholeness Healing Center, a mental health practice in Grand Island, Nebraska with remote sites in Broken Bow and Kearney. Her expertise encompasses a broad range of areas, including depression, anxiety, attachment and bonding, coaching, couples work, mindfulness, trauma, and grief. She views therapy as an opportunity to learn more about yourself as you step more into being your authentic self. From her perspective this is part of the spiritual journey; on this journey, she serves as a mirror for her clients as they get to know themselves—and, ultimately, to love themselves.
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