Wholeness Healing Center

Self- An Important Relationship

It is my opinion that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship. In this article I’m going to guide you through ideas and practices related to the self and relationship with the self. We will reflect on thoughts, emotions and what our heart wants.

First consider what your thoughts are thinking or what your thoughts are doing. For example, my thoughts are often in the future, thinking of the things I need to do or a future problem to solve before it becomes a problem. I encourage you to become the observer of your thinking; taking a step out of your thinking can give you an opportunity to see patterns that may be impacting your mental health and well-being.

When prompted with “How many thoughts are negative?” in Google the AI Overview generated text showed “According to research from the National Science Foundation 80% of our thoughts are negative” (Google AI, 2025). This is why the relationship you have with your thoughts is important to the well-being of your self. Be the observer and caregiver to your thoughts, tend to them with grace. Louise Hay has beautiful affirmations, one of them being “All is well, I am safe, and everything is working for good”. This is an example of an intentional thought to offer yourself at any time. (Hay 2016)
Second, consider your emotional state. Emotion is defined in various ways; the definition that resonated most with me, from a website The Biblical Counseling Center. “Emotions are the language of the soul; they are the cries that give the heart a voice. They energize us and can be a catalyst for action. They are an inherent part of what it means to be a person.”(Hart 2016)

To acknowledge and validate your emotions is a great first step to improving the relationship with yourself. Emotions (E-MOTION) move us moment to moment; we are not on autopilot. Our emotions are tied to the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world. Beliefs affect how we perceive events; our perceptions affect our emotions which affect our connections and relationships. Trauma informed care educates us that our early relationships are what influence the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world. No matter what those relationships looked like, NOW and in this PRESENT MOMENT. you can choose new beliefs and LET THE PAST GO.

We have a choice to set the emotional tone for our life. If you struggle to set your emotional tone, that is a great time to seek help from a close supportive person and/or licensed therapist. Listen to affirmations and or guided meditations and get curious about the beliefs you hold. We can change our beliefs and improve our life.

Finally, I direct you to ask your heart; “Heart what do you want?” By asking, you create a connection with your own inner world and authentic self. This can be beneficial when confronted with a choice; with good practice the heart will share its preference. Reflecting on your heart may help identify dissatisfactions and provide solutions, solutions that include setting boundaries inside yourself, i.e. stopping negativel thoughts and outside yourself, i.e. saying no to a commitment or request.
My heart often says that it wants peace, therefore I must take action and direct my thoughts away from worry and towards quiet, contentment and peace. I must let go of an old belief that I need to control things along with the emotions tied to that belief. I invite you to this work and send you well wishes on your journey. I am glad you are here.

Works Cited
Google AI Overview (2025) How many thoughts are negative?

Hart, D. June 16, (2016). Emotions are the language of and influence motives and conduct. https://biblicalcounselingcenter.org/emotions-powerful-revealing/#:~:text=Emotions%20are%20the%20language%20of,and%20influence%20motives%20and%20conduct.

Hay, Louis. (2016) Affirmations.https://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/