Wholeness Healing Today

Creating Healthy Habits as a Foundation for Self-leadership

As human beings, we often question ourselves based on external opinions. These opinions are based on a variety of things that end with fear. This fear leads us astray and can often be dangerous to our own self-leadership and trust. We can see that our current level of self-trust matches what others think we should be or how we should show up in the world. However, more times than not, self-trust is often rooted in self-leadership. How are we leading ourselves along our own journey?

According to Richard Schwartz, there are 8 C’s of self-leadership: confidence, connectedness, calmness, curiosity, creativity, courage, compassion and clarity. Achieving each of these requires self-trust that is difficult to find if we are carrying burdens. As we are searching for self-leadership, it is often helpful to look at our current habits and ask ourselves, “Is what I am doing bringing me energy or depleting my energy?” Often times, what we are reaching for is bringing us immediate but short-lasting energy. Taking a good look at our habits will provide a foundation for excelling in our relationships, leadership, work, and life. In order to identify a good habit, you must discern a healthy habit from a numbing habit. (Swartz, 2021)

A healthy habit is one that allows you to feel and remain engaged with your environment and within your body. If your habit allows you to escape from your body, you are numbing or avoiding which would be considered unhealthy. Some questions to ask yourself are the following:

• Am I being reliable?

• Am I respecting my own boundaries?

• Do I hold myself accountable?

• Do I respect others’ boundaries and sharing?

• Do I act within my integrity?

• Do I ask for help when I need it?

• Am I being kind towards myself?

If you are acting in accordance with these questions, you will find that you have positive self-trust. This will allow you to make positively impactful decisions through self-leadership.

Brene Brown states, “True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself deeply”. In 2021, we find ourselves often holding the discomfort of the paradoxical state we are in. Carl Jung shares that this is one of the most powerful places we can reside. It is here where we find our true selves and can find increased self-trust. Now the question is, where do I start in the journey to become self-led and a better leader within my own life? Beginning with the foundation of habits is the first step. (Brown, 2017)

Try these: get 6-8 hours of sleep per night, drink ½ of your body weight in oz of water daily, move your physical body every day in whatever way you can, trade your expectations for appreciation through daily gratitude. We can only build from the foundation in which we reside. Be grateful for your current journey. You are the leader and designer of your own peace.

Works Cited:

Brown, B. (2017). Braving the wilderness: The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone. New York City: Random House.

Schwartz, R. (2021). https://ifs-institute.com/about-us/richard-c-schwartz-phd. Retrieved from IFS Institute.

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  • Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
    Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner 


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